Wednesday, 13 January 2010

pep talk

I need a pep talk. Does anyone else? Is anyone else feeling as low and guilty and pathetic as I am right now?

Everything/one is ever so inspirational and full of good intentions post new years and I am trying to take it all in and be positive and active but...being unemployed is so...draining. In a "can't leave the house, have to save all my money, must apply/sell oneself on endless job applications but procrastinate and end up watching tv for hours on end" kind of way. I'm a night owl - so I'm up all night pottering around and then sleep most of the next day - and feel endlessly guilty about it. I can't even be bothered to get dressed most days. It's truly pathetic.

I always knew I worked better under pressure - when life is super busy and you have a million things on your plate and you just have to buck up and get it all done otherwise it will all fall apart - that's when I get stuff done. Well, just because I'm no longer juggling a job, gym commitments, social life, endless household chores, making stuff, reading things etc it all seems to have come to a grinding holt. But the only thing missing from the equation is 'job'. So why can't I keep the rest going?!

Because I have no self dicipline? No self respect? Because I'm crippled by laziness, fear, self doubt?
All of the above?!

But you didn't come here to read my rants about being pathetic and filled with self loathing now - did you? It's hardly inspiring, or uplifting or even interesting to read. My sincere apologies for indulging myself, yet again.

This post is titled PEP TALK and a pep talk we shall receive.

Starting with Bette. This cover of a Bob Dylan classic is playing on repeat on my computer right now. It's so powerfully moving it makes me wanna stand up on my chair and scream and yell and fight and dance and run and jump with my heart thumping with hope and confidence and love.

"I see my life, come shining, shining, shining, from the west down to the east. Any day now, any day now, I shall be, I shall be released."

Wish I knew where to purchase a copy of this track, itunes only had the soul-less studio version, watered down and stripped of it's raw emotion. If anyone does know where I could get my hands on a copy like this, please let me know!

And moving on to my sprouts. See how they've grown! They were only this big before, remember?
If these guys can flourish in 3 grains of soil, a glimmer of light and a drop or two of water, then there is surely hope for us, right?!

And finally - some wise words from H. G Wells.

“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and a mystery.”

So whether you decide to sing it, see it, say it or all three, I hope you're suitably 'pepped' now. I'm going to have a shower, get dressed and step in to the light of the sun.


Alfalky said...

Oh Sara, I think you're handling this summer-time-limbo-lack-of-job- weirdness extraordinarily well!

Thanks for the pep talk - i think we all needed that! This decade is off to a shaky start for's certainly taking me a while to get my bearings.

oh and p.s you're teeny plants also had a handmade-good-vibe-cosy keeping them happy as they grew, and just look at them reaching up to the light of the sun!


and p.p.s Don't forget you're so so lovely just as you are!

Kate said...

Indulge away. That's what blogs are for - whatever you need them to be. I'd say just try to find a balance. Sometimes that means staying static in the middle, sometimes it means swinging between the two things.

Seeing the negative things in life shouldn't stop us from seeing the positive, too.

handmade romance said...

hmm job hunting is not fun. i moved from the country to the city a few years back with a little money saved but no job to come to. paying rent and bills etc soon ate up the money. it took me 4 months to find work and it happened just in the nick-of-time. i think if you are putting something out there (like applying for jobs) something inevitably comes back and it usually happens when we least expect it and everything just falls in to place.
what an awesome song to get you motivated! bette is absolutely kicking arse in that version. i love it! if you ever do find out where to get a copy you will have to let me know.
and look at those little sprouts go - they dont look like the work of someone pathetic no do they : ) nice work! xx

Sally said...

Urgh... job hunting in the summer what yuck.
Good on you for having a shower & getting out into the sunshine. Enjoy. You'll be too busy before you know and these opportunities will have past.

Related Posts with Thumbnails