strongly worded emails

I totally rock at sending strongly worded emails. They are, quite possibly, my new favourite thing to do at work. They might not be as amazing as those sent to Richard Branson, but I like to imagine that they still have an impact.

Here is a sample of my latest work. I feel very strongly about this matter and felt I had to take a stand. Borders has been denying me, and the good people of Australia, a discount coupon for too many months now.

Hi Borders,

I’ll be honest with you. I subscribe to your email newsletters simply for the coupons. 20 – 30% off a full priced book has me running into your store to purchase books I’ve already read before, just for the bargain of it all. But where’s the love gone? I have noticed that you haven’t had such an offer since before Christmas. In the current economic climate, I simply can’t afford to shop for the sake of it, let alone without incentive. I’m begging you – BRING BACK THE COUPONS! And not the 20% off lonely planet type coupons – who are you kidding – no one can afford a holiday these days, even if the guide book is on sale.

Last year I was a weekly shopper at your Pitt Street Mall store in Sydney but this year I haven’t been in once. I’ll return as soon as I can afford it, which without a coupon, may be never.

Thanks for the memories,

Sara Carkagis

Dagnammit Borders, I asked for a gift voucher for your store for Christmas KNOWING that I could get more bang for my gifted buck with your weekly coupons and now I fear my gift card will diminish far quicker than hoped AND I could get the book I want at some other store for cheaper but will feel obliged to use my gift card instead. oh the humanity.

I wish books grew in my garden so I could pick them for free. Or at least in my neighbours garden anyway. I'm not so good at growing stuff really.