Saturday, 17 April 2010

Patience and the Imp


Urgh. Lately I have really been putting my imp before my patience. And it just feels so awful.

When I see and hear other people yelling...it all seems so unnecessary and soul destroying. And it really doesn't matter if you apologise afterwards - it's too late, you've already acted irrationally and you can't take those words or actions back. And I know it hurts real bad when someone yells at you, so I really shouldn't be yelling at someone else...


Especially when that someone is a 7 month old baby.

I lost my cool the other day - everything had been a battle, no eating, no drinking, no sleeping all day without a fight. And so when I reached the end of my tether, when I gave up trying to understand what the hell was the problem, I yelled. And unsurprisingly, yelling does not stop a baby from crying. Nor did it make me feel any better afterwards - on the contrary I felt a million times worse.

Why can't I be more patient? Where can I get more patience from? How do you learn to be patient?

I really don't want to be a yeller. I don't want to lash out verbally when I'm feeling pissed off. I don't want to snap so easily. I don't want to take my frustrations out on other people, especially those I love. I want to be stronger.

How come I can find patience for inanimate objects: learn a new craft, layer my tea bags in a spiral, fold all my plastic bags in neat and tidy rectangles but when it comes to compassion for other human beings I am so quick to snap?

This is one bad habit I am keen to quit. If you have any wisdom to impart or helpful tips I'd be one grateful girl...

10 comments:

Amelia said...

know this one well. you're only human.when it gets this bad, just get some-one else to step and hold the baby whilst you take 5 - really helps having breaks if you possibly can :)

Hugs,

Amelia.x

Amelia said...

ps. thanks for the follow!

A.x

dorothybills said...

I wish I had some magic answer for you but I have three kids, the eldest is almost 14 and everyday I have to work on paitence, some days it happens and I have a really good run but then I slip and have a crazy spit at the ones I love (and then hate myself). I think the important thing is to just keep trying and try not to get to down when you slip, this is a testing and hard job and we are not perfect! Now my kids are older I always apolagise when I am calmer and try and explain why I snapped and that my behaviour is not the way to solve things, this is a humbling thing to do and find it help me and them. Take it easy, dont put too much on your plate when you have no sleep can help too,Eleesa (Sorry for the long comment, I can rave on sometimes)

Kate said...

Oh honey, it is so hard sometimes! I have no answers. I like Dorothy's answer. I feel for you. I am there with you. Lots of love to you. XX

the textured leaf said...

sing 'I feel pretty.... oh so.... '
x

the textured leaf said...

sing 'I feel pretty.... oh so.... '
x

the textured leaf said...

oops! silly comment box scroll options. It wasnt my tiredness. No it wasnt!

Stomper Girl said...

I think I learned patience from my children, but I'm not perfect and I yell too! It's just I am so much more patient now then I was before children (who are 9 and 6). Anyway. What I want to say is that little babies up until about 4yo are very hard work in so many ways, -so totally dependent, despite their gorgeousness- that it is not surprising if parents lose patience every so often. It does get easier as they get older, if that helps. In the meantime, be kind to yourself! I always tried to give myself some "me" time every day; so good for mental health!

(Came here after seeing your cute pincushions at Kootoyoo)

Sally said...

Don't be too hard on yourself ... you're human like the rest of us. Acknowledge it. Apologise - even though he is little and just keep trying to improve. Life is a journey. Your nephew may be young but he is watching you and watching you try to do better teaches him to try to do better too. A really valuable lesson for us all. So give yourself a break and acknowledge the valuable lesson your passing on: none of us are perfect but we should keep trying to get a bit better!

handmade romance said...

this is a good post and good comments too. i feel for you and this is all a little to familiar for me lately too. people used to tell me how patient i was nowadays im a grump and snap way too much - perhaps time for a holiday haha not going to happen for a while. so i will hang in there. deep breaths sometimes help me but if you find a magic answers be sure to let us know ; ) xx

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